it's really weird.

i was having a conversation with marianne about... uh... stuff. then it lead to "love."

i feel weird whenever i say that word, or even think of it. i used to be one of those corny people who didn't believe in it.

i asked marianne if she thinks my feelings for my crush can be considered as love. she said yes and instantly, i became one of the corniest people who are in love.

but then i had flashbacks of the things i experienced when i had a crush on him.

like the time he was absent for about a week, the week of my birthday, and i was told he had sore eyes. i almost cried for him because i knew how it felt and i wished i had sore eyes too.

i remember last year, he was still smaller than me and i always put our heavy earth sci book on my head because i didn't want to be taller than him. it's weird but i find it cute.

i always wished him the best. i wanted him to be happy that i felt "kilig" for him whenever he was with his crush. no matter how jealous i was, i tried to hide because i didn't want to ruin his happiness.

my friends said i was being a martyr, but i never really thought of the things that i did as sacrifices. while the evil ones told me this was just an obsession. it wasn't.

i knew that i would never forget him. no. i would never forget the happiness he brings me when he's just being him. i loved everything about him.

but it took me a while to admit i was indeed in love with him. i was always trying to find a reason. i asked my friends who are in love why they love that special someone, they keep telling me that you don't need a reason. it didn't make sense to me then.

good thing karen came to my rescue and gave me a reason. she told me that i love him because i love everything about him. maan told me that if it's better to love someone without a reason because if that reason fades, it would mean that your love would go away too, and that's not love. but with the reason karen gave me, it was hard not to love him.

and then marianne confirmed all of my doubts. when i cried because a lot of people had a crush on him, approximately five, and i was nothing compared to those people, marianne told me that i couldn't deny not being hurt because i had been crushing on him for a long time and it had developed already. she was right.

i really am in love. no it's not puppy love. i may not be googly-eyed whenever he passes by but he puts a lot of smiles on my face just by being who he is. and i constantly share in his triumphs and downfalls. and no matter how much i try, i can't remove the pain i feel when i know he is in pain.

wahahaha! kitam! ang corny ko na talaga! kasalanan niya to eh. :D

*thank you giselle, karen, maan and marianne! mwah! kahit anong mangyari naman e mas love ko pa rin kayo kesa sa kanya! :D