por que?

ma'am edulan said high school is the best time to fall in love. i think so too. but i have never been in love before. i'm surrounded with friends who are and it's driving me insane!

actually, i'm just jealous. they say it feels good. i wish i knew how it felt. they seem so happy.

so what's exactly going on with my "love life?" well, first of all, i still have a crush on this person i've had a crush on ever since the second week of first year. i never have "kilig" moments with him. i don't even feel giddy when he does something my friends say i'm supposed to feel giddy about. but no matter how i try to forget him, i can never forget him.

and then i have two other crushes. one is not a serious crush. i just find him cute. shallow right? the other one, he's a big deal. i just find out i have a crush on him today. at first it was infatuation. but then again i didn't want these feelings to go away. i wanted to fall in love with him. i know it's stupid. i can't force myself to fall in love, but i wanted to. it just good, but it doesn't feel that right.

i just hope i have my feelings sorted out soon. i also hope i fall in love soon. yuck. :)